• Josh Gulotta

Hairy the Hare Meets the 46ers!

Our new youth series is an episodic adventure featuring the Easter Bunny's visit to the UPG! Input and ideas from the comments section will determine the future of Hairy's adventures! Make sure to add your thoughts in the comments.


Special thanks to Diane Horoschock for illustrating Hairy for us in today's post!


HEY THERE EGGHEAD! You didn't miss the first two chapters, right? This'll be pretty confusing if you did...

CHAPTER THREE! THE EGGSCLUSIVE EGGQUISITION!

“I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?


- Matthew 5:44-47


CHARTER OF THE INAUGURAL MEETING OF THE EGGQUISITION UNDER SPECIAL ORDER FROM HAIRY HARE, EASTER BUNNY 
April 1, 2020

Mssr. Hairy Hare, R.A.B.B.I.T. [Reigning Authority of Bunny-Based Information and Technology] presiding.

This charter hereby states the following members unanimously agree to address the mysterious appearance of the purple and yellow striped egg brought to us by our honorable president:

Sister Paige, P.O.T.A.T.O. [Person Organizing Taskforce Administration and Takeout Orders]
Sister Peyton, T.O.M.A.T.O. [Tactician Of Mapping Actual Treasured Orbs]
Sir Squidy Joeson, W.E.E.E.E. [Wizard Engineer of Energetic Exercises and Elated Evangelizing]
Morgan le Ray-of-Sunshine, Y.I.P.P.E.E.E. [Youth In Presiding Position to Exclaim Easter Excitement]
Beth, Duchess of Basketball, W.O.O.H.O.O. [Wunderkind Organizer of Oval Hunting Operations and Ordinances]
Lord Johnathan, Eggxecutor of the Danger Zone, B.O.O.B.O.O.
[Bastion Of Organizing Better Oblong Obfuscation]

Confused? The above is the founding document of Hairy’s new taskforce to find the mysterious hider of the mysterious purple and yellow striped egg.


At Hairy’s request, Mrs. Terry contacted several children from Sunday School to help the Easter Bunny with his egg problem.


And the superfluous names? As some of you might know, all taskforces come with royal titles for all participants, as well as unique post-nominal titles, much like doctors and monks and soldiers. If YOU were to join the Eggquisition, I imagine Hairy would bestow some titles on you as well!


Since the children could not meet in person, they all arranged to gather in an online chatroom. Each of their faces were framed in little boxes in neat rows across each of their computer screens, so they could all see each other at once. Isn’t technology amazing?!


Hairy had hopped all about Bethlehem after finding the first egg to see if he could find another illicit egg. To his horror, he didn’t find just one egg… he found seventeen! He gathered them in his basket for later evidence. Who knew how many more were out there!


Hairy was thankful for this crack team of youth. After hearing Hairy’s report, the gang jumped straight into planning and organizing.


“It seems to me,” said Sister Paige after addressing her notes, “we need two teams: one team to find all these illegal Easter eggs, and another to find the person hiding the eggs in the first place!”


“I can find the eggs!” Beth chimed in. “I won the gold medal in egg hunting at last year’s Easterlympics!”


“I’ll team up with the Duchess,” Johnathan added. “You’ll need a climbing and jumping expert. I bet this maniac is hiding eggs in all sorts of places! Up high, in holes, behind big rocks… I better get my kneepads…” he ambled off screen to gear up.


Sister Peyton shared a screen with Sister Paige. She poured over an intricate map of Bethlehem that was marked with every egg hidden by Hairy and his crew. “We have to be careful not to take any eggs that are supposed to be hidden,” she reminded the team. Hairy nodded avidly. He didn’t want his hard work undone!


Squidy piped up after referencing his own notes. “Sister Paige, with all honor and respect, I believe you are forgetting something.”


“What’s that?” Paige said, alarmed, glancing at her notes.


“It’s been almost a whole year since the last Easter! Beth is the best egg finder there is, and the Eggxecutor literally has the word egg in his name! But they’re both bound to be rusty after the summer kickball season and last fall’s food-eating championship. Not to mention that grueling present-wrapping competition they both competed in last Christmas! They need to train if we really want to hunt every last egg.”


“Obviously you need to be their trainer,” Morgan said to Squidy, “you’re a natural teacher.”


“And you’ll have to join me,” Squidy replied, “you’re really great at encouraging others. I’ll be tough guy, you be nice guy.”


Squidy and Morgan virtual-high-fived.


“That leaves the Sister Sisters,” Paige said solemnly. “Peyton can cross-reference the eggs we find and when we find them. Maybe we can find a pattern.”


“And Paige should be the one coordinating with everyone,” Peyton added, “because she’s my sister, and if anyone says otherwise I will flick your nose.”


Suddenly, Squidy’s older brother Jimmy appeared on his screen. “BO-BINGA!” Jimmy screamed and yowled like a rockstar at the end of a power ballad.


“Jimothy, please,” Squidy said calmly, “we are having a very important meeting.”


“Hi everyone, I miss you!” Jimmy called into the microphone. Everyone waved back and Jimmy ambled off to hang with Mr. Bleier.


“This leaves only one question,” Paige continued. “What should we do with this illicit egg-hider when we find him?”


“TATTLE ON THEIR BEHIND!” Johnathan cried, returning in full egg-hunting gear.


“EGG THEM!” Beth cried, throwing her arms in the air.


“EXCOMMUNICATE THEM,” Squidy cried gravely, curling his hands into fists.


“No, no, NO!” Morgan cried. “We don’t know why this person is hiding eggs! We don’t know anything about them! When we find them, we should be kind. Right, Hairy?”

Hairy nodded in approval.


“It’s OK, Morgan,” Johnathan assured her. “We were only joking.”


“This is why you’re ‘le Ray-Of-Sunshine,’” Beth reminded everyone. “You make people want to be kind.”


The call to order was made by Hairy as he took a huge bite of his gavel-shaped carrot.


“Mr. Hare now calls this meeting to adjourn,” Sister Paige said from several miles away. “If our resident Easter Exclaimer would close our meeting with a prayer?”


“Dear God,” Morgan began from more miles away, “thank you for this time with my friends. Please let us find whoever is hiding these eggs, and please make sure they know they are loved even if we’re upset with them. Please let us be able to meet in person next time so we can all drink the good lemonade that only the Light of Christ refrigerator has. Thank you for everything you do. Amen!”


“Amen!” the others agreed, each in their own homes, but together.


--


TEAMWORK happens when everyone works together! What role does TEAMWORK have in our church?


Do YOU want to be a member of the Eggquisition? What unique gift do you have that can help the gang?


What do you think Jesus meant when he said: “If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?” How does this verse apply to the story?

POST your answers below or on our Facebook page and we’ll incorporate your thoughts and ideas into the next episodes!


SPECIAL 46ers QUESTION: How do you feel being a fictional character?? Have you ever been a fictional character before? How was your character like yourself in real life? How were they different?


POST your answers below (or on our Facebook page!) and we’ll incorporate your thoughts and ideas into the next episodes!

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